Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize