I don't remember. Are we still dating?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
