You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
