I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
