i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
