a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
