I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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