girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
