i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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