I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
