I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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