You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
