She is in my trunk
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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