I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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