is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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