this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
