"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
