so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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