So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Non-Jews are for practice
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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