P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
