she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
