Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
