Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
it's great music for shaving your balls
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
