Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Two words: nipple clamps
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