Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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