Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
