her vagine was all disorganized.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
