She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
