it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
