its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
