I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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