Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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