5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
