new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
