I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
