super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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