that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Come share oat with me in your robe
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
