i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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