Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
