Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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