I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
