why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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