she looked like the bat from fern gully.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
my poor anus
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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