Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
