I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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