im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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