i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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