I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
