My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
