i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
