I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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