Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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