Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
